Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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