how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Randomize
