I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
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