Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
