DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
