it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
