I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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