sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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