My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Randomize
