Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
