I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
