I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
