she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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