I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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