well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
