"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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