im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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