how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
so let's talk penis.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
