I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
