Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
