My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
