I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
