don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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