There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
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