Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
