Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
