Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Randomize
