i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize