so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
