I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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