Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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