btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize