My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I love having hate sex.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Randomize
