I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Randomize
