remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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