yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
