Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Randomize