you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
