Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize