4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
