NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Let's paint friendship bongs
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize
