if you like me you must not know who I am
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
