But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
