when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
