i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Randomize
