I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
