I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
