I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
