Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
