Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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