And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
