suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
