my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
