Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Randomize
