Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
