i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
