You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Randomize
