Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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