So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
