the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
