sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
