great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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