I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
It's official drugs can't kill me
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
